


Two Cinnamon Rolls so Deeply In Love

by amiayaprotagonistyet, morningdew



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4533189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amiayaprotagonistyet/pseuds/amiayaprotagonistyet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningdew/pseuds/morningdew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is just an on-going collection of Camsten ficlets/drabbles I've been writing. I have a ton more ideas to be developed so this should be getting more updates soon, hopefully!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No Doubts

Cameron Goodkin is a genius. He knew that the potassium sulfate would stop his heart for those four minutes so Kirsten could stitch into his memory and get the necessary information. What he also knew but didn’t mention was that it wouldn’t work. Although his body was dead by clinical and scientific standards, his brain was fighting itself. Only the memories that mattered, the ones that resonate with him on a daily basis would be accessible. He knew exactly what Kirsten would find in his memories, and the license plate definitely wasn’t it. She would find herself everywhere.

He had to at least try to show her. It wasn’t getting through to her just by telling her in his own ways; “I have to protect you” and “I can’t risk you” weren’t enough with Kirsten. The only way she’d understand was if he showed her, and that involved her stitching into his memory. So of course he would risk it, risk dying- his biggest fear since he was ten years old, to show Kirsten just how much he loved her. If that’s what it took for her to trust him, to believe him, then he was going to lay down and die just to show her how much he was in love with her. No hesitation.

Cameron knew Kirsten was born to stitch, and he was willing to die for her just to show her how deeply he had fallen for her. How much he was always willing to protect her, since they were children and even now, Kirsten came first. He wanted to see her the way he saw her, every single perfect thing about her was ingrained into his memory. No one is going to be able to convince me that Cameron Goodkin didn’t know. Genius boy who developed the entire stitch lab didn’t know that “pretend” dead isn’t the same thing as being really dead? Yeah right. Cameron Goodkin knew exactly what he was doing and he’d do it all over again, every day if he had to, just for her to see- to feel, how he felt about her. Because she was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this wasn't really as much of a fic or drabble but more of a preface to explain just how deeply in love Cameron is with Kirsten and no one can convince me otherwise.


	2. Not Just a Nobody

It had been over a week since the incident in the lab. And every night since, Kirsten had left the lab with Cameron and stayed at his apartment for a bit. Usually, they just watched some tv or ordered take out and talked a bit. It was starting to feel normal to both of them. Still, neither of them had mentioned what had happened in the lab. Each night, she tried to say something, to bring up what she saw when she stitched into his memories. And each night, she came up with another excuse to hide what she was trying to find the words to say. She didn’t know how to express what was keeping her awake at night.

Tonight was different. Cameron was in the shower, and Kirsten sat on his bed, preparing the words she’d been fighting for over a week. She was prepared for this conversation, but what she wasn’t prepared for was Cameron walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He was drying his hair with a towel, not having noticed Kirsten staring at his chest until he turned towards his bed. Her eyes were still locked on his chest as she stood up and walked towards him, outstretching her hand, and running her her fingertips down the length of his scar. She remembered him opening up to her, almost literally, about his heart surgery that day in the lab. She remembered his memory of the two of them in the hospital as kids that she saw when she stitched into his mind. She remembered the agony she felt when Cameron didn’t immediately wake up after being revived.

This was the moment, she was going to tell him. Allowing her hand to linger for a moment before lifting her eyes to meet his, only to find them glistening with tears. “I was so scared,” his voice broke as he whispered. All the words she had prepared didn’t matter now. Instead, she put her arms around him and hugged him to her body, still dripping wet from the shower. Again, she was left speechless.

“Please stay tonight,” he asked.

“Of course,” she whispered, “of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly fluff, but heartwarming. Just to ease into the next few stories. And I'm a sucker for emotional!Cameron


	3. Her Least Favorite Number

She lost count after the third try how many times Ayo had attempted to revive him. Turner had already walked away and Maggie had begun to lose hope. The flatline was all she could hear, numbing her mind. Apparently tears had found their way down her cheeks and she hadn’t realized, too consumed with worry over Cameron. She was still dripping wet from the fishtank, leaning over his body and shaking her head. The image of his body lying motionless on the corpse cassette would forever be ingrained into her own memory.

She hadn’t realized she’d been holding her breath until he finally opened his eyes. Suddenly, she understood the feeling of relief. He coughed a bit, attempting to sit up but Kirsten didn’t give him a chance. Grabbing his face and kissing him, right there in the middle of the lab with everyone watching for the second time. Her hands were in his hair until she pulled away so she could meet his face. His eyes, finally open, were filled with confusion as to what just happened. Her lips curved into a slight smile; he was alive, he was here with her and that’s all that mattered.

Leaning her head against his, close enough so that when she whispered, “Longest four minutes of my life,” he would be the only one in the room who could hear her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a girl who has no concept of time, she does when it comes to Cameron. <3


	4. More Than a Nickname

Now well over a month since Cameron “died”, everyone had readjusted to their normal lives. Tonight was game night and Kirsten, Camille, and Linus had made themselves comfortable in Cameron’s apartment while Cameron prepared some snacks. Kirsten made her way into the kitchen to refill her drink, and also to get away from Camille and Linus giving each other bedroom eyes.

She had mentioned it to Cameron and they had a good laugh over it, still not sure how those two meshed so well. “Hey cupcake, could you hand me the bowl on the counter?” Kirsten put it in front of him on the island,

“Sure thing, girlfriend.” Still referring to each other with the pet names they had gotten comfortable with.

“Actually,” Cameron now a bit more serious, “I was wondering if you wanted that nickname to be yours?”

Kirsten was momentarily confused- tilting her head about to ask him what he meant when it clicked in her head. Instead, she nodded at him with understanding and the biggest smile she’d ever seen made its way onto his face. Kissing her cheek was all the confirmation she needed that she got it right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend gave me the idea. This is for you Nada!


	5. My Nightmares are Usually About Losing You

Sometimes he still had nightmares about not having woken up. About having died and not being revived. It wasn't that he was scared of dying young, he was scared of never seeing her again. God, how much he would’ve regretted not being there to protect her, about never having told her. It was the last thing he saw before his eyes closed: her face. He was always falling so deeply into her bright eyes, or mentally tracing the curve of her nose. Or the soft outline of her lips, when she smiled and her face crinkled. How much he would’ve missed that if he died. It would’ve been worth it though. Of that he was sure. Now she was aware of how he truly felt about her, since the first time they met as kids. He hadn’t even remembered that until the day she saw him in his room, and he so foolishly closed the door on her.

He was still afraid, even weeks after the incident. Afraid that if he closed his eyes and fell asleep, he wouldn’t wake up. Afraid that he wouldn’t see her smiling at him the next day at work. He’d been unable to sleep properly for weeks now, constantly jolting out of bed to the same nightmare.

Tonight, Cameron found himself laying in bed with Kirsten besides him, her head on his chest above his heart. Her fingers idly ran up and down his chest, at times tracing his scar.

Breaking the silence, Kirsten lifted her head to meet his face “This,” pointing to his heart through his shirt, “It makes me feel…” and once again resting her head on his chest, “safe.”

“Me too…” he whispered, finally allowing himself to drift off to sleep. And for the first night in weeks, he didn’t have a single nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so here for emotional!Cameron and Kirsten comforting him and being his rock (heh bad joke I'm sorry) when he needs her.


	6. Almost

He lived. But not without consequence. Ayo had managed to revive him from his induced clinical death, coughing and sputtering back to life in the lab, everyone watching, waiting in fear if he would live. He did, and that’s what scared him. He risked the chance that his heart wasn’t healthy enough to make it back in one piece, but it was. His brain, on the other hand, was not. For weeks after the incident, he ran tests on himself in the lab. Staying later hours, trying to understand what went wrong, and how he could fix it. According to his prognosis, he had approximately six months left to live before his brain completely deteriorated. If a living patient were stitched into, they would die immediately, that he knew. But in his case, with the medically induced death, he was technically still alive, but still dead in a way. As a result, his brain, and his memories would fade with time. Of course he wasn’t planning on telling anyone. Not even Maggie, and especially not Kirsten. Camille was already being trained, and she could take over when he passed. It was a hard truth to face but he’d been staring death in the face since he was ten. It was just creeping up faster now.

The first two months weren’t so bad. Occasionally a name would slip from his grasp and he blamed it on stress or a bad night’s sleep. He got away with it until midway through the third month when everyone could tell something was wrong. He was having trouble with the stitches, forgetting to check on the stations before inducing stitch. After a slight incident, Maggie called him into the office and he explained. What choice did he have? But he was so afraid of being turned away from his own lab, Maggie allowed him to stay now that Camille was trained, under the cover of “observing her training progress.” She’d kept his secret for him, but it didn’t make it easier to explain, to lie, to the others.

Four months in and he couldn’t remember his mother, song titles, or his favorite movie references. His short term memory was getting shorter and his own frustration grew. One night in his apartment, teeming with frustration and sadness and anger all mixed together, a glass made its way from his hand to the kitchen wall, shattering into pieces. He’d forgotten to order his medication and couldn’t remember his address to get more. He just needed a walk to clear his head, only he opened his to door to find Kirsten outside, fist raised about to knock. Both of them were taken aback, and Kirsten walked in, starting to talk about the most recent case when she saw the shattered glass. Immediately spinning around to ask Cameron what had happened when she found him in tears on the floor besides the still open door. After cleaning up the glass while Cameron showered and attempted to wind down, they sat down so he could explain. Kirsten tried to cover her gasp but it had slipped out. She couldn’t understand how she felt, there was so much at once. She was angry at him for not telling her but absolutely devastated. She tried to reassure him that there was something they could do, she’d find a way, but they both knew it was pointless. He had less than two months at this point; there was no getting better.

Midway through month five, Cameron forgot who Kirsten was. He stopped going to the lab, mainly because he forgot how to get there on his own or what was going on. He needed someone with him at most times so he wouldn’t accidentally hurt himself, even though he slept for most of the day. Kirsten came over before and after work and often spent the night, making sure he ate and took his medication. Sometimes she’d put on one of his favorite movies, but he’d only end up falling asleep on the couch. He didn’t have much of an appetite either, even when she prepared his favorite meal. She couldn’t bring herself to admit that she was losing hope. After everything she’d seen in his memory when she stitched in, only for it to come down to this. She found herself crying over his kitchen sink while doing the dishes.

She thought Cameron had fallen asleep hours ago and had the apartment to herself to tidy up, just to keep her busy. But it was no use. Her back leaned against the kitchen counter, hands covering her face as she sobbed into them. _It wasn’t fair_ , she thought. _Cameron didn’t deserve this. It was my fault for going through with the stitch_. Distracted by her tears, she didn’t notice him next to her until he touched her arm, “Hey… Don’t be sad. It’ll be okay, trust me.” Those words pierced through her, drawing up his stitched memory of them meeting in the hospital as children, which by now he’d surely forgotten, but she never would. Wiping away her tears, she nodded, eyes closed and attempting to smile. Even now, Cameron remained himself. She returned to the dishes after he headed back to bed.

The next few weeks were the same, only there wasn’t much left to forget. He’d made it to the six month mark, and a week in, he had forgotten his own name. Kirsten had to distract herself at this point. Just as she was getting comfortable with her emotions, the one person she wanted to express them to couldn’t even understand them. Playing another one of Cameron’s movies in hopes of clearing her mind was of no use, because he came out of his room and joined her on the couch. He still looked healthy, from the outside, it was impossible to tell his brain had fallen apart. All his genius, his education and memories, laughter and friends had just vanished from his mind.

Cameron had now laid his head across her lap, stretching out on the couch, allowing her to wrap her arms around his chest, placing a hand over his heart. She could feel the slow, steady pace of it, even as she tried to focus on the screen. There were tears spilling, running down her cheeks and landing in his hair now and the tv was a mess of colors. She couldn’t hear anything except the deafening silence of an empty room. This was the second, and last time, Cameron Goodkin had died in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry. I really had to write it. I would never want anything to happen to my precious cinnamon roll but that last line popped into my head and I had to write it. Don't hate me.


End file.
